A few thoughts going 'round my head.

So I wanted to write down a couple of things before I forgot because I always think that I'll remember and then I look back and try and remember the thing I thought I'd never forget. Funny, huh?!

Joel has now done this a couple of times and it's just the sweetest thing. I always lay down and sing them a song before naps and bedtime. Well there have been a couple of times when I ask him what song he wants and he starts singing 'I am a Child of God' all by himself. His little voice singing those words. And then he says- Mommy, that song is for you. Seriously, so tender! When he's 17 I may need to remember what a tender and sweet little boy he was. No, I don't think I'll ever forget. He's always been such a sweet soul. Vance on the other hand..... lol.

Okay this part is because I need to get this down so please indulge me. I made a goal after I got the conference edition of the Ensign to read it cover to cover. I was so impressed with this talk. I feel like there's been a lot of hard things we've gone through the last two years or so. I was reminded again though yesterday why we go through hard things. I don't mean to make light of the trials that our family or others have gone through but it was just a simple reminder to me.

I am not a runner; NEVER have been. I don't like to do it and I was not blessed with that talent. But after over a year of getting into shape it was the next step in my fitness regimen. So a little over a month ago I started jogging/walking. Nothing big. Well with the example of several friends who have done the Couch to 5K program I decided to see if I could run 3 miles. So I set my mind that my cardio for Wednesday was going to be to run 3 miles without stopping. I was nervous but somehow knew that I could do it. I didn't tell anyone though because in the back of my mind I thought that if I couldn't do it then nobody needed to know. And I wasn't doing it to impress anyone- no this was for me. So I get on the treadmill (this might be cheating because after running on the beach in San Diego I know that the treadmill is A LOT easier than the boardwalk) and got warmed up with a walk around "the track". Then I reset the machine and start jogging. The first mile and a half were good. I thought okay half way through. I got to 2.25 miles and thought I could just take a little break and walk and then finish but I just didn't want to short change myself. Luckily I had made a playlist of some of my favorite songs and just about then one of my favorite songs came on. So I continued on. 2.75 and I was trying to remember why I was doing this. But I could see the end in sight. So I finished my final lap. I couldn't believe I did it! It took me 35 minutes but I finished. Something a year ago I could not even FATHOM doing and I did it and wasn't even dying at the end. The thought, "I CAN do hard things" rang through my head with such clarity and power. I know some of my friends and family run half marathons and full marathons and triathlons. And I still stand in awe of them but I was able to do MY hard thing.

One of my favorite lines come from a book called "The Road Less Traveled". In fact it's the first line, "Life is difficult." I love that because I know this. Not in a depressive never get out of bed sort of way. But with my belief system I know that I came here to Earth not for a vacation to kill time before I return to my maker but as an opportunity to learn, grow and become more like Him. And as anyone who has ever REALLY accomplished anything- from painting a picture to raising a child to hosting and making a full holiday meal- knows is that anything worth having or doing is difficult to some degree or another. That's part of what makes it meaningful. If it were easy then we wouldn't appreciate it to the same degree. I know that there will be MANY more hard things ahead of me in this life. And I think that's why I felt so impressed to write all this down. Because when you're in the midst of your own personal trial and you know all the "Sunday Answers" sometimes it's that vote of confidence that you received in the not so distant past that you can do hard things. You will get through it and you will be better for it. You may or may not be grateful for the experience but you can do it.